Battle: Pride

I think one of the hardest things for me is when I know that other people know a weakness of mine– one that I am not proud of, and do my best for people not to uncover. But what’s even harder is when you find out that people have been talking– behind your back– on how to “fix” your problem.

This is when my pride likes to kick in high gear and say, ‘who are you to be talking about my problems? just mind your own business and leave me alone.’ But I know that deep down, they are saying this out of love– but it is nonetheless embarrassing.

I’ve been dealing with an inner battle lately– a battle between my pride, and being open and humble about my weakness. As I try to figure it out in my own head, it has put me in a position where I must learn to be open to criticism, to suck it up when I get made fun of, and just take it in stride when I get embarrassed.

Headphones.

After more than a full year of commuting daily to and from DC for a round trip of more than 2 hours, I have come to appreciate what a great asset my iPod is.  Each day, I enjoy up to 2 hours of uninterrupted time with my thoughts, listening to music, reading any interesting articles in the Express, or taking a nap.  Either way, what is always consistent is I always have my headphones on during these commutes.

Until 3 weeks ago, I listened to my iPod through the free headset that comes in the box– the white set which has become almost iconic in this era.  However, I decided on a whim to do a little research on headphones– as to why I decided this, I have no idea, but after a few minutes of searching, it became clear that there were 2 sets that were the preferred choice among thousands of reviewers– the Shure SE110 and the Bose In-Ear Headphones.

After much mulling and chewing over the idea, I decided to try out the Shure sets, and I have not turned back since.  I had no idea until now what a difference headphones make in the music listening experience.  I knew what quality speakers can do for sound, but I had underestimated the advances in headphone technology and did not think it enough to make much of a difference– unless I wanted to invest $300-$400 for a pair of over-ear headphones.  And while that was tempting, it is rather unrealistic for my purposes– it is not the most comfortable thing to wear on the metro, nor walking to the office from the metro station.  Not to mention, I have no mind or desire to spend that much money for headphones.

These headphones have really changed my commute.  The pounds of the bass, the high octave melodies which tickle the track, the vibrant vocals– it is a whole other experience when these sounds are maximized in their quality, and you feel as though you are listening to a song for the first time.

After all this gushing, I must be fair though, and admit that the in-ear aspects are not preferable.  Sometimes, after a while of listening to the music, I have to take the headphones out of my ears for a moment– it’s almost similar to the feeling of riding an airplane.  And of course, there is the fear that listening to music through ear buds which are inserted into my ear cannot be good.  But, I have read enough reviews to feel as though as long as I do not blast the music to silly volumes, I should be alright.

Overall, I am more than satisfied with these headphones; and am pleased with my most recent investment.  I think one day, though, I would like to purchase a pair of over-ear headphones for the full effect, but that won’t be for a while.  Until then, I am more than happy listening to my music through my current headphones.

Autumn season

In my mind, Fall is usually associated with beginnings. It is somewhat counterintuitive in that the beginning of Autumn in actuality represents the end of life in many ways– as leaves begin to fall, as animals prepare for hibernation, as people bundle up and spend increasing amounts of time indoors, many associate the Fall with the year winding down.

However, maybe it is because I’m still in a student mentality, but the Fall always gives me a feeling of freshness– almost like it’s like a new year, a new chapter. I think I have made more “new year’s resolutions” in the beginning of Fall than I have on January 1st… actually, I know for a fact that this is the case.

In the past, my list of “resolutions”, if you will call it that, usually had something to do with school– that I would do better that coming school year, that I would be more organized, that I would try new things, that I would step out of my comfort zone, et cetera et cetera et cetera. Last year, while I didn’t have a new school year to start, I did have a new job, which again rang of the theme of freshness and starting anew.

This year, however, I am at a pause. There aren’t any new things going on in my life; I am not getting a start-over option. This Fall, for the first time in my memory, it is about continuation. It is about maintaining my momentum, and building upon what I have now. Last year, I didn’t get to push things off and say “I’ll do this or that next year”– simply because there are no ceremonial beginning or ending point as clear as the first and last day of a school year.

This Fall, nonetheless, is still a first for me– it will be the first time in my life in which I am not starting anything new. And while admittedly, I do lack the extra push of energy and excitement that I normally experience this time of year, I’m okay with that. I’m testing out “real life”– but I suppose it’s not really the case as I do get a start-over next year. Most likely, I will be working for only 1 more year before going to grad school– and I’m looking forward to that- a new place, a new school, and a whole new set of lessons to learn… next Fall.

I want to make the most out of these next few months and really maximize each day– and that doesn’t necessarily mean make each day as eventful and jam-packed as possible, but rather experience each day, enjoy my time, so that this time next year, I can start afresh with no regrets.